The last post....

For my course submission I sent prints along with hard copies of the five assignment submissions. Below are the thoughts I included in a covering letter to the assessors which explain some of the feelings I have in completing the course. I felt a great sense of relief taking my box of prints to the post office, I have thought more than once that I would not complete DPP and in the end I am glad that I did. Some of the lessons I have learned are detailed below, only time will tell if I am able to use the self awareness I have gained going forward or slip back into old bad habits. All I can say is that today I feel positive and motivated to face future challenges head on, I will try to remember this when old doubts slip into my mind. 

A note on completing the course:

I have found studying this course to be extremely challenging as it has coincided with me hitting a crossroad in my photographic development. As you will see from my assignment submissions, I have frequently been racked with self doubt and a feeling of being 'blocked' during the course. This affected me to such an extent that I strongly considered cutting my losses with the course and trying something different. I am pleased I managed to persevere and complete DPP and grateful that OCA extended my deadline so I was able to do this. Ironically, a tightly managed 6 week extension for the submission of each assignment really helped to focus my mind on producing work rather than worrying that I may fail. I found myself taking a great deal more risks than I would have normally, culminating in assignment 5 which was a huge leap of faith for me. I am grateful to my tutor Keith Roberts who encouraged me to take risks and push myself out of my comfort zone.

Unlike my previous course, The Art of Photography, I decided to keep an online blog for DPP. This was partly because I wanted to practice my writing skills - the act of publishing online for the world to see forced me to consider carefully what I was writing. Unfortunately, I found myself being extremely self critical and have only ended up publishing a selection of the notes I have made about further study. I have decided to keep these notes that I have not completed on my computer rather than spend an inordinate amount of time trying to formulate them into something I would be happy with. Unfortunately this means that my blog only contains a section of my further research. Hopefully the posts that are online will give you an idea of the type of reading and research I am doing.

My photographic motivations and influences have changed significantly during my time studying DPP; I am much less interested in technical perfection and have become more concerned with the multitude of ways photography can be used as visual communication and art. My focus now  is in exploring as much visual art as I can through books, magazines and gallery visits - and not just confining myself to photography. I am keen to develop my critical thinking and study skills and the next course I have enrolled on is Understanding Visual Culture. The challenge for me with this course however is to keep taking photographs driven by personal projects rather than the course material. This ties in well with the main learning I have gained from DPP: I need to be self motivated and self sustaining in my photographic practice.

In summary, I have probably learned more about myself studying DPP than I have about photography and this has been a difficult yet ultimately rewarding. I understand better now what motivates me and I feel I am starting to head in the right direction: I have not yet found my voice but I have a clearer understanding of the direction I need to go to.

Understanding Visual Culture

I sent my last assignment to my tutor today which marks the (almost) end of my journey with DPP. In celebration (!) I have enrolled on my next and last level 1 course, Understanding Visual Culture. This marks a major departure for me as the course is purely academic and theory based. At this point in my development however I feel I need to kick start my theoretical knowledge. Also, because the course requires a great deal of research and writing I hope to become more comfortable and disciplined about putting my thoughts down in writing. I feel excited and motivated by the final flurry of activity I have experienced completing DPP....hopefully I will be able to sustain this through the course.

UVC Blog

A new year wake up call….

I am not someone that really does new years resolutions, but a couple of weeks into 2013 I find myself in reflective mood about my photographic studies. A catalyst for this was an email from the OCA concerned that I had not yet submitted my first assignment - I am approaching a year studying DPP and this was something I promised I would not repeat after TAOP which took me 3 years to finish mainly because of self doubt and procrastination. I have given myself similar wake up calls in the past which clearly have not had the desired effect of me progressing quicker so I needed a different approach. Before I could do this however I realised I needed to be completely honest with myself about where I am and what I need to do going forward.

Firstly I took stock of where I am - in truth I have been working on assignment one since the beginning of the course and have quite a bit of material already. Maybe I should just use what I have now and get the assignment finished? After all the assignment is not even part of the assessment.

Secondly I looked at my blog - 8 posts in nearly a year is not a great record. I did not keep an online blog for TAOP and one of the things I struggled with in that course was working through the exercises successfully (I jumped around the course work quite a lot and in truth did not even attempt a number of projects.) Also, I struggled to show the extra reading (and thinking) I do about photography. Having an online blog was meant to remedy this as I thought the publishing aspect would push me to complete more - I would not want to be embarrassed with showing my tutor I had achieved very little. Objectively though this idea was now proving a hindrance as I am in that very position. In truth I have lots of material collected on my computer partially written up, over the last few months I have been telling myself that as soon as I get on top of this I can start progressing. Truthfully these 'extras' are nice to do but not the core of the course - I need to focus myself on working through the exercises and assignments as a first priority and add these other items as and when time allows.

Finally there is the thorny issue of time management. I have a busy life with a demanding job and family life, however, the truth is  I do not make the best use of the time I do have available. Being busy is merely the excuse I use - after analysing the time I do have available I found that I have at least an hour each evening, probably more, which I could be using for reading, writing up exercises and research or even (shock horror!) taking pictures! Along with that I have 6 hours free on my day off while my children are at school - I just need to find a way that any errands I need to complete are out of the way so I can make best use of this time as this is the absolute key to me being able to make real progress. Combined with this I do not have a plan for timescales to complete exercises and assignments. I have spent some time mapping this out on a calendar - the targets are quite broad but I think achievable. Each week I will spend 5 minutes understanding whether I am on target or not. If manage to achieve these goals then I will be sending DPP for assessment in November.

I know from the last 6 months of TAOP during which time I completed most of the work that I have the drive to be able to complete the course within the parameters I have given myself. The key to success for me is gaining momentum - once I begin with my plan I am sure the work will begin to flow.

The challenge of finding the time and the motivation…..

For the last month and a bit I have been extremely busy at work and home and simply have not had the time to take pictures. Today I forced myself to take my camera out as I ran a couple of errands and took a few pictures - no preconceptions, simply for fun. I did not shoot many frames but had the camera ready as I walked (for about an hour.) I am surprised at how relaxing I found this process of simply looking for interesting things to photograph and I have now started to question how truly 'busy' I have been: if I had really wanted to I am sure I could have found time to take some pictures, the problem here is not necessarily lack of time but lack of self motivation. On reflection I now realise it is a set of self imposed barriers I am setting myself that is leading to my inactivity. I have felt tired due to my busy schedule and this has led me to provide myself 101 excuses about why I should not get out and take pictures, chiefly that I am 'not in the mood', in reality I just cannot be bothered. Returning home today and downloading the images, I was shocked to discover I had not picked up my camera for 3 weeks. As I write this I have not even looked through the images I have taken today, and to be honest, their quality or otherwise does not bother me in the least - it is the process and the practice that counts. OCA tutor Clive White discusses on the OCA forums that students should treat photography like 'going to the gym' and practice every day. I can now see the truth in this - my period of inactivity led to a number of hesitations and missed opportunities today when I had the chance to shoot some candid shots in the street. There is no guarantee that the shots I would have taken would have any merit but without pressing the shutter I will never know. If I was more 'practiced' I am sure I would have had the courage to take those shots. The challenge now is to up my game, show more dedication and start to take this much more seriously. 

What I want to achieve from DPP…..

It took me 3 years to complete TAOP and by the time I came to the end of the course I was itching to move onto the next one. A couple of months after receiving my course materials I find myself having made little progress, I am currently extremely busy both at work and home which has impacted my studies, however, I fear I am re-treading old ground through procrastination and excuse making rather than simply getting on and doing some work.

At the end of TAOP I realised how difficult I had made the learning process and how much more productive I could have been. More importantly, I felt the work I submitted for assessment did not represent the journey I had been on during my time on the course - particularly my learning log. I did a lot of soul searching and recognised my triggers for not getting on with the work and started DPP with a strong sense of where I was going - and yet a couple of months in I am repeating the same mistakes: photographs taken for exercises but not written up, exhibitions visited and notes made but no finished write up, started assignment work without completing the exercises, notes on reading and looking at photographers work but again not written down. I could go on but the general theme is 'I start but do not finish.'

At this point therefore I feel it would be beneficial to review my aims for the course and to also set myself some ground rules. Hopefully this will achieve two things: my focus will be regained and I will get back on track and I will be able to look back at the end of the course and know if I have achieved what I set out to do.

1. To complete the course within my target time scale of 12-18 months.
2. To use my time effectively and work through the course notes in a planned and organised fashion.
3. To publish my learning log as a blog which will also act as a way of exploring my thoughts on photography.
4. To pursue personal projects and develop my photographic voice.